New opportunities exist with each breath I take. Are my thoughts compassionate?Mindfully, I note the timbre of my perceptions. How am I relating to others, to my self? Each new breath, infused with the essence of compassion and loving kindness, creates a new mind/body relationship and  the potential for a new relationship to others.

Try it~

Soul Hunger

            Opening to the hunger of the soul creates opportunities that can be both welcoming and frightening. Often we avoid these opportunities before allowing potential joys or lessons while our soul hungers for true fulfillment.

            Soul hunger can be revealed through the restriction or overindulgence in eating patterns.  Using food as a spiritual anesthetic may take various forms: restricting, bingeing and purging, or compulsive overeating, thus temporarily severing our soul connection. Behaviors developed in childhood or adolescence now affect our ability to have a fulfilling adult life.

            In responding to childhood events and painful challenges imbued with trauma, we create coping strategies attempting to temporarily soothe the hungry soul.  Learning to control food and body while ignoring health implications, we justify these soul-less, self-sacrificing behaviors.  Temporarily safe in the illusion of our psychic numbness, bingeing on food creates comfort, a haven from internal or external stressors. Conversely, severe restriction of caloric intake brings a false solace of being in control of life and the environment.

            By taking a deep breath, breathing in and out, gently and repeatedly, and using compassionate awareness, we begin to observe behavior around food and exercise. Kind, non-judgmental understanding about our negative behaviors to manage anxiety may initially just be noted.  Feeling the difference between this compassionate stance and the harsh words of habitual self-effacing disgust and intolerance. This is a beginning step toward allowing the heart and spirit to be a guide toward healing disordered eating and exercise behaviors, which in turn fills our empty soul.

            Continue gentle, mindful breathing and begin developing an internal dialogue of forgiveness while remaining in a compassionate place. This is a crucial element in the journey toward healing.  Imagine a loving, eternal mother whose heart is infinitely open and strong, then become washed in her warmth and forgiveness.  Allow her to explain that negative behaviors toward Self and food have been necessary coping mechanisms for survival. She understands this was developed for our emotional and spiritual survival and is willing to give guidance toward an enlightened Self if we listen courageously.

            It is beneficial to note that most “heroes” feel fear while courageously moving toward their goals. Remaining in an open space of inquiry, we can bravely observe what our soul reveals and discover who truly resides within. When we are ready to try a different way of being in the world, a brave willingness to seek guidance about Self and relationships can lead us toward wholeness and the fulfillment of the soul.

 

 

© Robbi Rucker 2008

 

“We discover that our identity is more tentative, fluid like a river, each moment born anew. Wisdom says we are nothing. Love says we are everything. Between these two our life flows.” Jack Kornfield, A Wise Heart

Mindfulness of the present moment may be filled with life lessons. Is there chatter within telling you who you are not or who you should be? Is there a voice of a loving inner self that speaks to you? If you are truly aware you can hear ‘talk’ of your worth and your many gifts. Shhh… With mindful awareness of your thoughts and body, much can be revealed. Listen within but also look out. Stop. Be in this moment of your life. Breathe. Consider creating a new reality. Right now. What do you say to yourself? What do you say to others? Each thought, action or inaction creates our reality. What will you do today? Observing with lovingkindness the conversations within can be a gentle, new beginning towards mending your soul.

Just for today at the very least, notice how you harshly or gently you speak to yourself.  Are you able to notice your thoughts; are they filled with lovingkindness toward yourself, your  body, your actions? Take a moment and think of how patient and gentle you might be while witnessing the distress of a new baby or a dying loved one. Can you be that compassionate with yourself? If not, here is a wonderful opportunity to heal in this very moment. Gently observe how difficult it might be to say that it’s okay, it’s the best you can do right now, how could you know how to do any differently? Who spoke to you with lovingkindness as child? Anyone? Or were you constantly scrambling for a kind word or to avoid a harsh one. Who held you when you were frightened? Hold yourself in your mind’s eye like this special person if you have one. If not, this is another opportunity to create a fearless and compassionate protector within yourself. Close your eyes for just a brief moment or longer if you’d like and imagine being held and comforted. This inner parent or protector can be with you anywhere, anytime. Create the healing support you need within right now. It’s as quick as closing your eyes and taking a slow breath. Good luck.